Last night, after our Chinese magic act, I hung out in the Troika lounge, which was pretty dead; Thomas and I were the only ones from the staff left in the bar after the rest of them had called it a night. He asked if I wanted to go listen to some new music in his cabin, which happens to be next to mine. We sat on his bed and chatted, listened to his tapes, and drank some cognac. He reached behind me and turned off the main light switch, leaving only a calming dim night-light in the room. I relaxed back against the wall, as the sea rocked the ship, seemingly in time with the music. Then, he just leaned in and started kissing me. He kisses so good; it felt as if we were melting together, like the heady taste of the cigarettes and cognac on his tongue. I’m really not sure how it all got going, but I ended up having sex with him. There wasn’t any asking this time… it just kind of flowed. Maybe it was the alcohol, but it felt like a floating dance instead of an awkward exercise. I didn’t need a white-knuckle grip on the headboard this time. Afterward, he gave me a really sweet kiss goodnight. I got back to my room around 4:00am.
But then today, he was kind of cool and distant. Not like he was mad or anything, he just seemed far away, as if nothing ever happened. I hope our friendship isn’t ruined. Later on in the bar, we hung out with some other people, but didn’t even sit next to each other. He said goodnight to everyone pretty early, stating that he was really tired because he didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. I’m not sure if that was some sort of acknowledgment to me, or if he was just stating a fact. I can hear his music next door through the wall, but I’m not going to go over. He knows where I live, too.
Actually, I’m pretty tired myself; today was a long day. One of the two cruise hostesses quit, so I’ve been recruited as the replacement, even though I barely speak Russian, which was the major skill that got her hired. I don’t get paid beyond a $10 a week allowance from my parents, but it’s good to have stuff to do. I work in the office in the morning, doing administrative tasks and manning the desk to answer passenger questions. Throughout the day, I help with activities like card tournaments, bingo, horse racing, and other games like that. At night, there are occasional cocktail parties I have to attend and socialize with the invited guests. It used to be that the only work I had to do was perform on show nights with my parents. We only do a few magic shows the whole trip, so there was a lot of free time. My parents have always volunteered to be escorts on shore bus tours so we could go on the excursions they wanted to do. Now, it’s part of my duties, and I have to go on the bus tours to the same places over and over again; thank God for books to keep me distracted from the monotony. My parents, on the other hand, do what they want with their free time. I don’t mind though. Like I said, it is better to have stuff to do; too much free time isn’t good.
Click to Play How Deep is Your Love by Bee Gees [audiotube id = “BBMriOspUvA”]