After 4 months of looking, we decided on another house we like. It is one that I looked at a few months ago, and thought was perfect except for the price. We are offering $50K less than the asking price, but I do agree with Lou that it is overpriced given the age and lack of landscaping. Based on the comps, and the seller’s personal situation, I actually think they may take the offer. Amherst is a about an hour-long daily commute for me, but the school district is great, and the savings from not needing private school will compensate for the outrageous property taxes. We should also be able to find a place to hanger the plane, since there are airports nearby in Nashua and Manchester, as well as in Concord, which is about 45 minutes away if he had to go that far.
I love the house, the views, and the neighborhood. Lou loves the house too. He does not love the property, since it isn’t as private as he would like, but I think he’s ready to make some concessions, since I still refuse to quit my job and un-do this decision.
Besides, we need my job. He’s stopped working all together and isn’t putting any effort into finding new clients. He claims he needs to be home to take care of Anjelica. How is it that I’ve managed all these years to work full time and take care of her, but he can’t do anything besides work out? He’s the one who insists on keeping her at the Montessori school in Delaware. There is no reason she could not come here with me. She is in kindergarten, it’s not like relocating a high school senior mid-year. He says it is important that she stay with her current teachers. It kills me that he considers that more important than being with her mother. Given the choices in front of us, if he were truly concerned with her best interests, we would all move into temporary housing together until we get the permanent place to live. He could continue to work, and not play the part of a martyr sacrificing to care for our child. I really resent what he is doing to us. I know he feels the same way toward me.
We are not in a good place, and it needs to be resolved soon. Each week, I take a commercial flight home late Thursday afternoon and fly back Sunday or Monday night. Every single time, he is angry, and picks a fight over something trivial. There’s no tenderness. No pet names, I’m just Jo now, not Joey Snugger, or Bugs, or even Joey. It’s like when your parents enunciate both your first and middle names when you are in big trouble. I stayed the long weekend to be together for Valentine’s Day. In the morning, I gave him a sentimental card; he said thanks, but he didn’t bother to get one for me even later on. I don’t need a fancy gift, bouquet of flowers, or expensive dinner, but some acknowledgement of love would be nice. Late that evening, we waited for my flight in a closed airport restaurant, with left over Valentine’s decorations on all the tables. Sadder than being alone on Valentine’s Day is being with someone who doesn’t love you enough to bother at all. I didn’t bother to complain. I am hollow.
I would quit my job if I thought it would actually change anything for the better. I think it would make everything worse. I’ll resent him even more for what he put me through, and the impact on what will be left of my career. We will be stuck in Delaware, unwilling to try to move again. He will continue to resent me for having resisted him thus far. The only chance I see is to get through the move and find our way to what can be a wonderful life for our family in a beautiful home in New Hampshire, and a successful career for me at Agilent. We will have everything once we get over this hurdle. Other people do it all the time. Why is this so difficult for us?