I didn’t make it to work today. I tried going but had too much anxiety about what was to come next. Lou called the house and asked why I wasn’t at work. I told him that I knew where he had gone, what he did and with whom, and that I wanted a divorce.

I was shocked that my words calmly flowed so easily. I was more shocked by his response. He said he agreed that we needed to work on our marriage, and that was why he called me yesterday. And that even before I called, he was thinking about me and wanting to talk because he felt so bad about what was happening. He said he wants to do whatever it takes. And he said he was coming right home. I told him to stay because I didn’t want to see him. He insisted he was on his way home immediately. He got a speeding ticket getting to the airport.

He did get home in record time. I told him after all we went through with Tanya, and with all my medical problems from that, and our agreement to work on our marriage together, I could not believe that he started all over again with another woman. He kept insisting that we would work on it together. I said I was all done and didn’t want to be married any more. I told him that I needed to take care of myself now, and that I intended to file for divorce. He asked me if I had done it already, and I said I had the papers.

We went back and forth for a long time. There really weren’t any major arguments. He never asked how I found out what I knew, and he didn’t deny anything either. I guess the lawyer was right about getting proof.

He got all teary-eyed at one point; at only this one point. He said that his girlfriend was petrified I would tell her boss or her husband. He said that she’s a good person and he didn’t want her to get hurt or lose her job. I told him that I could care less about her, and I didn’t plan on saying anything to anyone, so she could rest easily. Nice to see he could care about someone other than himself.

I’m going to sleep on the big couch by the tv in the finished basement. I told him to leave me alone. I feel relieved and that I have some control back of my life. I am just done being married to Lou. I think I’m done being married ever.